Friday, April 15, 2005

Easily satisfied?

Today is definitely my favourite day of the week! Friday.. Fabulous, fantastic and fun Friday! But most importantly, with the arrival of Friday, the wonderful weekend that ensues is so surely promised!! Woohoo!!!

As you can probably tell, I've had a great (albeit busy) day today.. I think I can attribute it to the fact that I received 2 compliments ("Very good" and "Well done") from my consultant cardiologist today for a case presentation. (The very one who called me daft twice on Wednesday, then shooed me away from his clinic afterwards, who pounded me on Tuesday for not knowing all the knowledge in the world (Hello... I'll be doing your job if I knew everything!), then said that I must be a bad student since I only had a 48-hour memory and well, you get the idea..) Anyway, I was delirious with ecstasy when he said that and felt as if I could fly!! (Ok, so that sounds a bit stretched.. but nevertheless, I was happy!)

You see, the consultants on my firm are very stern and blunt when it comes to teaching us students. They're really nice about it though, and not at all arsy, so we don't really feel THAT incompetent or stupid. We just feel that we've got lots to learn and need to do more studying. (Sigh..) Sorry, digressing. My point is, because we are constantly bombarded by these doctors, every single day, we turn up at the hospital expecting to experience unending verbal assaults due to our inability. It has in fact, come to a point where the lack of criticism is considered to be highly positive thing and can be taken as a compliment!!! (It's good for us, and we develop a thick skin at the same time! Double score!)

I started to think about people and expectations. It's amazing how the frameshift of mind that you're in can influence so many things in your life, most importantly, perception and the corresponding emotions that follow. It's not so much a matter of belief anymore, it's about anticipation and the endless possibilities that life promises..

My dear WS never believes in getting excited and all hyped up for an upcoming event. I, on the other hand, am always an over-enthusiastic hyperactive fool who not only looks forward to every little thing, but play it up and hype it up so much in my mind that even a simple get-together meal can be turned into a regata gala in my head!

Because of that, more than once, I've been bitterly disappointed with the outcome of the event and always return home with a heavy heart, vowing never to see these people again. (Yes, slightly overdone, but I'm allowed to be when I'm emotional!) Of course, this rapidly recovers with the promise of a new occasion and the same cycle happens all over again.. Sighh..

So. I've learned the hard way to have low or zero expectations in whatever I do.. if I'm already at a level of 'no expectations', there's really nowhere else to go but up right? It may seem pessimistic, but it's really, the only pragmatic approach (for me) to life.. This way, I'm kept constantly happy and upbeat about the things that happen around me and (almost) never have to feel down in the dumps..

What do you think? How do you deal with it?

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