Where does it stop?
Growing up in a relatively urban and big city, somehow, the concept of 'kiasu'-ism does not elude me and has in fact, been widely accepted as just being human. I wouldn't blame it on my parents, as they've never really bothered with academic competition in school (I mean, after all, I was the best for most of my life, so there wasn't really an issue at all.. muahahaha! *eyes rolling*) and all they've ever wanted was for me to do my best in all that I can. In fact, can't really pinpoint any particular person or event which has helped this notion seep into my very veins but I guess where I picked it up doesn't really matter. What matters is the fact that I did pick it up..
As a kid, I think I was fairly competitive (this being the civilised word for 'kiasu'.. I mean, let's face it, 'kiasu' is such an ugly word!), going around from person to person when exam results were released, just to find out how everyone else faired. I didn't think it was necessarily being competitive at that time. To me, it was just very important to find out simply because if I didn't do well, I could just say to my parents, "But everyone also got around the same marks as me so it wasn't my fault!"
As the years have gone by, I'd like to say that I'm less competitive than I used to be. (Well, at least I hope I am.. Hey, I said 'less competitive' not 'completely not competitive' so you can't catch me there. However, if you think I am an uncontrollable 'kiasee', do let me know.. discretely, please, of course.. hehe) I can safely proclaim this because I asked my housemate JC who knows me relatively well and she doesn't think I'm too competitive, so that's a good sign.. (unless of course, she's just trying to be nice, in which case, I'll probably receive 1000 comments to this post telling me that I'm not only combative, I'm also ignorant and arrogant!) Anyway, digressing again. I believe I am just 'kiasu' enough to ensure that I try hard in certain areas of life in order to produce results which are at par with my peers.. so that I don't look so daft.. (I think, in actual fact, my biggest weakness is my brontosaurus-sized ego, but let's not get into that..just yet)
Now.. what was my point? Ah yes.. competitiveness. As I was saying, I am a relatively not-so-competitive person... EXCEPT when I am pushed. I am very sorry to say that I have had the misfortune of experiencing many many instances in my life where my friends have this irrepressible need to shove everything they can into my face. Every little thing becomes a contest.. every little thing becomes important. The greatest achievement in a day is to make the other party feel bad about the hairclips that she's wearing. (Fortunately though, it's not just me.. these people have some sort of mental disturbance and do it to everyone. So in many ways, I pity them)
To be honest, I am getting extremely weary of such infantile behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I'm not using this blog of mine to become an outlet to bitch at people.. I don't need to do this here, I can just tell people off.. You know what I'm like.. :) (In this sense and many more, I have done that!) I'm just tired of having to deal with such people and am just doing some self-reflection.
In the beginning, I just ignored them. Being the bigger person by making the bigger gesture. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. These people see this as an opportunity to push it into your nose further.. So, I have no choice but to retaliate. And retaliated, I have.. Obvious risks to that, I admit, but you win some, you lose some. What can ya do? I won't kid myself by pretending I have incredible patience to continue being the bigger person and ignoring them.. Sorry peeps, but I'm not that great a person.. (JC says that some people just have an ingrained gift to bring out the worst in you..)
The reason I brought this up is this: Being competitive is an exceedingly selfish trait, as its ultimate aim is to make one feel better about oneself. Nevertheless, this could prove highly advantageous, especially in this fast-moving world, as it drives you to work harder and hence, go further. It could also possibly be helpful for the people you're competing with as well, as they could be motivated to attain greater distances. (This of course depends on whether the other party can stomach such attempts of 'kiasu-ism')
The question is: Should we entertain such attempts to crush our self-confidence and view it as an opportunity for us to reach further heights, even though it may well be at the expense of our sanity? Or should we just shut up, suffer their blows in silence and most of all, feel extremely sorry for these people (whose actual problem is just an extreme lack of self-confidence and therefore, needs desperately to trample on ours just to feel good about themselves) ?
Isn't this choice yet another one of 'between the devil and the deep blue sea'?
As a kid, I think I was fairly competitive (this being the civilised word for 'kiasu'.. I mean, let's face it, 'kiasu' is such an ugly word!), going around from person to person when exam results were released, just to find out how everyone else faired. I didn't think it was necessarily being competitive at that time. To me, it was just very important to find out simply because if I didn't do well, I could just say to my parents, "But everyone also got around the same marks as me so it wasn't my fault!"
As the years have gone by, I'd like to say that I'm less competitive than I used to be. (Well, at least I hope I am.. Hey, I said 'less competitive' not 'completely not competitive' so you can't catch me there. However, if you think I am an uncontrollable 'kiasee', do let me know.. discretely, please, of course.. hehe) I can safely proclaim this because I asked my housemate JC who knows me relatively well and she doesn't think I'm too competitive, so that's a good sign.. (unless of course, she's just trying to be nice, in which case, I'll probably receive 1000 comments to this post telling me that I'm not only combative, I'm also ignorant and arrogant!) Anyway, digressing again. I believe I am just 'kiasu' enough to ensure that I try hard in certain areas of life in order to produce results which are at par with my peers.. so that I don't look so daft.. (I think, in actual fact, my biggest weakness is my brontosaurus-sized ego, but let's not get into that..just yet)
Now.. what was my point? Ah yes.. competitiveness. As I was saying, I am a relatively not-so-competitive person... EXCEPT when I am pushed. I am very sorry to say that I have had the misfortune of experiencing many many instances in my life where my friends have this irrepressible need to shove everything they can into my face. Every little thing becomes a contest.. every little thing becomes important. The greatest achievement in a day is to make the other party feel bad about the hairclips that she's wearing. (Fortunately though, it's not just me.. these people have some sort of mental disturbance and do it to everyone. So in many ways, I pity them)
To be honest, I am getting extremely weary of such infantile behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I'm not using this blog of mine to become an outlet to bitch at people.. I don't need to do this here, I can just tell people off.. You know what I'm like.. :) (In this sense and many more, I have done that!) I'm just tired of having to deal with such people and am just doing some self-reflection.
In the beginning, I just ignored them. Being the bigger person by making the bigger gesture. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. These people see this as an opportunity to push it into your nose further.. So, I have no choice but to retaliate. And retaliated, I have.. Obvious risks to that, I admit, but you win some, you lose some. What can ya do? I won't kid myself by pretending I have incredible patience to continue being the bigger person and ignoring them.. Sorry peeps, but I'm not that great a person.. (JC says that some people just have an ingrained gift to bring out the worst in you..)
The reason I brought this up is this: Being competitive is an exceedingly selfish trait, as its ultimate aim is to make one feel better about oneself. Nevertheless, this could prove highly advantageous, especially in this fast-moving world, as it drives you to work harder and hence, go further. It could also possibly be helpful for the people you're competing with as well, as they could be motivated to attain greater distances. (This of course depends on whether the other party can stomach such attempts of 'kiasu-ism')
The question is: Should we entertain such attempts to crush our self-confidence and view it as an opportunity for us to reach further heights, even though it may well be at the expense of our sanity? Or should we just shut up, suffer their blows in silence and most of all, feel extremely sorry for these people (whose actual problem is just an extreme lack of self-confidence and therefore, needs desperately to trample on ours just to feel good about themselves) ?
Isn't this choice yet another one of 'between the devil and the deep blue sea'?
posted by Jean at 8:42 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks for your time.. in reading this and in commenting! Do come back whenever! :)
Post a Comment
<< Home