So near, yet so far..
I've not been MIA lately.. it's just that I haven't really come up with any extraordinarily exciting things to blog about.. guess my muse must have took off for a holiday in the Caribbean.. wish she (or could it be a he?) took me with her (him).. sighh..
Anyway, I've just got back from rehearsal.. I've got a mini-mini part in our 3rd year Medics Musical and we were just running through it just now. I really enjoyed myself cos' it's all a good laugh and we have loads of fun, so I think it should be real good to come watch. It's opening on the 7th of June and will be running until 10th so do come watch us! ;)
The thing is, every time I'm remotely involved with something that includes acting, singing or dancing, (even watching Beauty and the Beast the other day!) I can't help but hop onto my private spacecraft and be whisked off to my Fantasyworld. The same world I created once upon a time, so long ago..
Ever since I could remember, my greatest greatest dream was to become a performer. I started out as a kid wanting to be a singer, and having always sang at little concerts and performances, I was told that I had a great voice. So I thought "Ok then, let's do a Hong Kong thing and be a singer/actor/model. (I thought being on the catwalk would be fun too!)
But then I got fat so it just changed to actor/singer. Then, a few years later, lots and lots of people who had seen me dance said that I've got a natural flair for dancing, and that I was very talented. So, my dream kinda morphed into being an actor/singer/dancer.
And the thing is, ever since, I've tried to get myself involved in every thing that was associated with acting, singing and dancing. I was a ballet dancer until I was about 12, but I quit cos' my teacher was such a b*tch. Probably one of my biggest regrets, really. Afterwards, my parents refused to let me take up tap or jazz, so that was gone. I was signed up for lots of voice training and audtions by different people we knew, but my parents always always always refused to let me go.
Ooh, and the one time I went for a drama workshop when I was about 12, my parents pulled me out after the 1st session, even though they'd paid for the whole thing! I wanted to sign up for things like Toastmasters and Actors' Studio but was strictly forbidden. Recently, I took up ballroom dancing and street jazz and again, was told by my teachers that I was really good and a natural. But... my parents made such a big fuss that I was forced to quit. (At least while I was at home, here, I'm free to do what I want but guess what? I jammed my knee and I couldn't be bothered to get it back to what it was.. so I'm pretty much out!)
So yeah, it would seem as if my parents were the ones holding me back. And it's true, you know. My mom has actually admitted it on several occassions that she did that deliberately simply because she knew that given the chance, I would quit school and go do what I've always always loved.. but that's besides the point.
The point is, up until today, I've always wondered whether there would be anything different if I was given the chance to pursue what I love.. Sure, I'll probably not end up an Academy-award winner, but at least I would have enjoyed my journey anyway. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy what I'm doing now, but this is not where my heart truly lies.
Passion. It's really all about passion. I like to go through life enjoying and relishing every single precious moment that passes. I do best in things that I'm truly passionate about, and more importantly, give my all when I do it. And that's exactly how I feel when I stand on a stage. Even in an empty stage in an empty theatre, I've always felt that that is where I truly belong. I have found my true calling, my purpose in life. All I have to do is embrace it, and I am complete. Unfortunately, I believe that for obvious reasons, it's too late now, for me to do anything with this dream of mine.
And I think that is what saddens me the most.. This dream of mine will always remain a dream.. never to be fulfilled, never to become a reality. But at the back of my mind, there always remains a glimmer of hope. A tiny bit that keeps telling me that my day will come. All I have to do (apart from working at the craft) is to wait.
My question is: How long do we wait? Do we give up on our dreams simply because we know that dreams will always just be dreams and never come true? Do we just remove all hope and come back down to earth, to reality? Or do we sit it out and wait? Wait for destiny to call upon our doors, and hand us a personal invitation to live our greatest dreams? Or better still, do we take matters into our own hands, go out and seek what we are missing in our mundane lives? Do we still go even though we know very well that we stand almost no chance at all and risk being crashed and burned?
I want to know: Is it too late?
Anyway, I've just got back from rehearsal.. I've got a mini-mini part in our 3rd year Medics Musical and we were just running through it just now. I really enjoyed myself cos' it's all a good laugh and we have loads of fun, so I think it should be real good to come watch. It's opening on the 7th of June and will be running until 10th so do come watch us! ;)
The thing is, every time I'm remotely involved with something that includes acting, singing or dancing, (even watching Beauty and the Beast the other day!) I can't help but hop onto my private spacecraft and be whisked off to my Fantasyworld. The same world I created once upon a time, so long ago..
Ever since I could remember, my greatest greatest dream was to become a performer. I started out as a kid wanting to be a singer, and having always sang at little concerts and performances, I was told that I had a great voice. So I thought "Ok then, let's do a Hong Kong thing and be a singer/actor/model. (I thought being on the catwalk would be fun too!)
But then I got fat so it just changed to actor/singer. Then, a few years later, lots and lots of people who had seen me dance said that I've got a natural flair for dancing, and that I was very talented. So, my dream kinda morphed into being an actor/singer/dancer.
And the thing is, ever since, I've tried to get myself involved in every thing that was associated with acting, singing and dancing. I was a ballet dancer until I was about 12, but I quit cos' my teacher was such a b*tch. Probably one of my biggest regrets, really. Afterwards, my parents refused to let me take up tap or jazz, so that was gone. I was signed up for lots of voice training and audtions by different people we knew, but my parents always always always refused to let me go.
Ooh, and the one time I went for a drama workshop when I was about 12, my parents pulled me out after the 1st session, even though they'd paid for the whole thing! I wanted to sign up for things like Toastmasters and Actors' Studio but was strictly forbidden. Recently, I took up ballroom dancing and street jazz and again, was told by my teachers that I was really good and a natural. But... my parents made such a big fuss that I was forced to quit. (At least while I was at home, here, I'm free to do what I want but guess what? I jammed my knee and I couldn't be bothered to get it back to what it was.. so I'm pretty much out!)
So yeah, it would seem as if my parents were the ones holding me back. And it's true, you know. My mom has actually admitted it on several occassions that she did that deliberately simply because she knew that given the chance, I would quit school and go do what I've always always loved.. but that's besides the point.
The point is, up until today, I've always wondered whether there would be anything different if I was given the chance to pursue what I love.. Sure, I'll probably not end up an Academy-award winner, but at least I would have enjoyed my journey anyway. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy what I'm doing now, but this is not where my heart truly lies.
Passion. It's really all about passion. I like to go through life enjoying and relishing every single precious moment that passes. I do best in things that I'm truly passionate about, and more importantly, give my all when I do it. And that's exactly how I feel when I stand on a stage. Even in an empty stage in an empty theatre, I've always felt that that is where I truly belong. I have found my true calling, my purpose in life. All I have to do is embrace it, and I am complete. Unfortunately, I believe that for obvious reasons, it's too late now, for me to do anything with this dream of mine.
And I think that is what saddens me the most.. This dream of mine will always remain a dream.. never to be fulfilled, never to become a reality. But at the back of my mind, there always remains a glimmer of hope. A tiny bit that keeps telling me that my day will come. All I have to do (apart from working at the craft) is to wait.
My question is: How long do we wait? Do we give up on our dreams simply because we know that dreams will always just be dreams and never come true? Do we just remove all hope and come back down to earth, to reality? Or do we sit it out and wait? Wait for destiny to call upon our doors, and hand us a personal invitation to live our greatest dreams? Or better still, do we take matters into our own hands, go out and seek what we are missing in our mundane lives? Do we still go even though we know very well that we stand almost no chance at all and risk being crashed and burned?
I want to know: Is it too late?
posted by Jean at 10:01 PM
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