Friday, March 03, 2006

Final day, not-so-final thoughts..

Today marks my last day in Obs & Gynae.. the saddest thing of all, of course, is that I no long will get to see my lovely consultant, X, on a daily basis.. especially after all this time, and especially after I've gotten to know him well. (Well, I wouldn't exactly say well, but definitely better than the other students, really..) Yeah, even in the last week, I saw quite a lot of him, and got to learn even more things about his personal life... sighh.. Unfortunately, this obsession must come to an end, as all good things usually do.. Double sighh.. I can almost feel the withdrawal symptoms creeping up on me..

Depressing thoughts aside, I have personally, truly enjoyed this 10 weeks. (Gasp! Has it really been 10 weeks? Our exams are in 10 weeks!!! Ok, digressing there..) It was really fun to get to do loads of stuff as we got a chance to, and more importantly, be included as part of a team. I guess it's giving us a little glimpse into our future, which by the way, isn't very far ahead at all, and I definitely like what I see. Suffice to say, this is going to be one career route that I definitely will consider. (As opposed to one which I cannot wait to slam the door on, for e.g. ENT and opthalmology!)

Having said that, I've been plagued with various different questions, ethical questions to be precise, regarding this potential career choice. As Obs & Gynae deals with women and pregnancy, the issue of termination of pregnancy, i.e. the ending of life, will inevitably be on the plate. As a staunch believer of my religion, I cannot help but bring attention to the various issues revolving this and have had many a discussion about these issues with my fellow religious friends and of course, family. I haven't had a satisfactory answer as yet, so I'll definitely keep looking. Bottomline is, I'm afraid that my religious values could well interfere with my potential future job and to me, that is quite unfair. But then again, I could be quick to jump to false conclusions, and since religion is never a black-and-white thing, and medicine certainly resides in the various shades of gray, I will keep an open mind whilst I continue searching.

The thing is, I'm actually quite surprised and to a certain extent, taken aback with the fact that these issues are there in the first place. No, I'm not naive, of course there were many ethical issues that doctors had to deal with. But I honestly would never have dreamt that some of these could well compromise my personal values and principles. I think this is just one of those things that you will never know about until you come to face it yourself. Granted, I've not reached that situation yet, but I definitely have seen it play in front of me and obviously, that'll get me thinking about what I would do if I were in that situation myself.

Before I got in to medicine, many people, including my dad, told me that being a doctor is a wonderful job because you get to save lives.. Unfortunately, no one told me that that wasn't the end of the story. Yes, you do get to save lives, but inevitably, with that, comes the other side of the coin - you will end lives as well. I think this is the hardest thing to swallow really.. People forget that there are always two sides of a story, yin and yang, good and evil, the eternal balance etc etc. This is no different. Saving lives and ending them (hopefully not the same ones, of course) is going to be the daily bread of a doctor's life. And they sure as hell didn't advertise that before we got into medical school..

Anyhow, I shan't let this bug me, as I can innocently (and ignorantly, for that matter) say that this really isn't my problem, well, not just yet, at least.. I just thought it's interesting to bring up, and to remind myself that life really is as complicated as people profess it to be.. Ah well.. Guess I'll just have to remember to toughen up and take everything that life throws at me in stride.. I will survive!