Waving goodbye to hope, saying hello to defeat..

For those of you wondering why I've been MIA recently, I was busy taking my medical FINAL exams.. Yes, the ultimate test to whether I will graduate a doctor this July.. So yes, it's quite a big deal, in fact, this is my biggest exam yet! (For those of you who weren't wondering, well, I wasn't thinking of you either! :P )

Anyhoo.. Now that it's over, I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.. or can I? I think the only time I can truly breathe will be after the results are released. Until then, I'm afraid that I'm just going to have to stay depressed. Yes, you heard me right.. depressed, despondent, disappointed, dejecting, desparing, disconcerted and all the other 'd' emotions.. In fact, I'm not enjoying my freedom as much as I should be; simply because I'm so depressed and convinced that I flunked at least one of my exams. Which means, I will be back earlier from my elective to take the resits. Which means I'll have shorter break. Which sucks. Sucks so bad! On the bright side, I'll still have a chance of graduating in July, as long as I pass the resits, of course!

I would love to bore you with the details, but instead, here's a poem I wrote during today's exam that would pretty much sum up how I feel.. It's a rhyming one too, and yes, the exam was SO bad that I had so much time to compose poetry, as I couldn't answer so many of the questions. The truth is, I could feel myself giving up the moment I saw the first question. I think I lost the will to try at that point. I kept trying to concentrate, and boost my own morale by motivating myself, but I think I could recognise defeat when it stared me right in the face.. And so here I am, moaning about it to whoever who'll listen. Sighh..

Anyway, here it goes, tell me what you think! (The title of this poem is 'Results Day', i.e. when I actually receive my final results)

Results Day

Oh, the shame!
Now who's to blame?
Me, of course, I've now lost my life's aim
My name will be maimed, I feel so ashamed
And I now know, I'm not good enough to be famed!

Oh, fame!
What's in a name?
It's not like I'll ever claim the fame,
Life's just a game, and a cruel one, I now proclaim
For now and forever, I shall be shamed..

Oh, this is so lame!
I've gotta focus on my aim
To finish this paper, and go party til' tomorrow came
For now, I'll just be tame, sitting here like a lil' ol' dame
And think of all the ways, to hide from the shame..

Oh, the shame! The shame!