New Year, New Purpose?
First of all... to everyone..
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) It's 9 o'clock on January 1st, 2006 and I'm up and all ready to usher in the new year!! Hah! Actually, I'm lying.. I'm still very sleepy and am only up because I had to send WS off. What? New Year's Day and already lying??? (excuse my craziness, it's due to severe lack of sleep..)
Anyway, yes, WS slept over in my house last night, excuse being it'll be too late for him to drive home after counting down to the brand new year.. but of course, the truth was that we really wanted to spend some quality time together. :) Our New Year celebrations this year was actually quite simple to be honest. All we did was drive out to a hilly spot around my housing area and watched the splendid fireworks from afar at the stroke of midnight. Boring you say? Well, the truth was we really weren't in the mood to go and be squashed in a big crowd, partying the night away and would much rather spend some quiet time talking, bonding and enjoying each other's company.
So we ended up having a quiet night. It was pretty good too, cos' that meant that I could be home by 12.15 and spend some time with my family. So that was good.. And at least I got to hang out with my friends earlier in the night, so that too was good.. And I had dinner with my family and wonderful little brothers, so that was good. And I managed to go 'yum cha' with BH, so got to do lots of catching up with him, so that too was good.. (Gosh, I really miss his company.. his wisdom, thoughtfulness and of course, sarcasm!) And I got to go to the temple in the morning and do some dana and listen to a Dhamma talk, so that was good.. (Yes, it's been a crazy and busy New Year's Eve indeed!!)
Anyway, the most important thing about New Year's is of course, everyone's New Year Resolution! To be quite honest, I haven't really put that much thought into it and usually, I don't really bother to come up with one. (Mainly because I never fulfil my resolution anyway so I've stopped trying! ;) ) But this year, I've decided that I shall.
As you know, my parents were up visiting me for my graduation and stayed with me for a week. They came about 2 months before that as well, as my dad was on some conference trip and mum decided to come. On both trips, I was constantly reminded by them of how much I've changed and not in a good way really. My mum kept saying that I wasn't a nice girl anymore and I don't see how that is, considering how I was never nice to begin with. They also said that having lived alone for so long, I'm now a very self-centred person with a small heart and most important of all, that I've become a very bitter person.
Of course, my parents didn't say this in a vindictive or ill-mannered way at all. They meant me well and was only trying to serve to remind me that I should try practising a more Buddhist way of life - with lots of loving-kindness, compassion, generosity and of course, wisdom (to say the least!). I was initially quite pissed off with them for being so, well, parent-like, but when I went home, I guess going to the temple and being around my family again, I'm reminded of how much I've strayed.
I guess it's quite easy to get sidetracked, especially when you're far away from home. My biggest problem was that I needed constant reminders and guidance to live the life I ideally want to lead and there are so little around me. I admit that I'm not a saint and that as much as I try, not a lot of good comes from within me, innately. I'm good at keeping my sila i.e. my precepts i.e. good discipline but that's it really. I'm not like WS who innately is such a good person that he doesn't need any guidance to be good.
So, (as you can probably guess) my 2006 New Year's Resolution is going to be this: I'm going to try my best to practice my religion on a daily basis. I'm going to try to be a better person as it will not only benefit the people around me, it'll directly help me.
(Of course there's going to be a little loophole in this 'clause' of my life - I might not be able to maintain this all the time. I did say I wasn't a saint right? So I'll choose when I want to practice being a better person! haha... Doesn't sound like much of a resolution? Oh trust me, it is.. If you know me, I don't normally intentionally try to be good!)
(Oh, and by the way, in case you're wondering, I'm actually at home now.. safe and warm, far away from the bitter cold and north wind. It's nice to actually live life without having to worry about money or financial issues on a day-to-day basis. Oh, how I've missed home! :) )
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) It's 9 o'clock on January 1st, 2006 and I'm up and all ready to usher in the new year!! Hah! Actually, I'm lying.. I'm still very sleepy and am only up because I had to send WS off. What? New Year's Day and already lying??? (excuse my craziness, it's due to severe lack of sleep..)
Anyway, yes, WS slept over in my house last night, excuse being it'll be too late for him to drive home after counting down to the brand new year.. but of course, the truth was that we really wanted to spend some quality time together. :) Our New Year celebrations this year was actually quite simple to be honest. All we did was drive out to a hilly spot around my housing area and watched the splendid fireworks from afar at the stroke of midnight. Boring you say? Well, the truth was we really weren't in the mood to go and be squashed in a big crowd, partying the night away and would much rather spend some quiet time talking, bonding and enjoying each other's company.
So we ended up having a quiet night. It was pretty good too, cos' that meant that I could be home by 12.15 and spend some time with my family. So that was good.. And at least I got to hang out with my friends earlier in the night, so that too was good.. And I had dinner with my family and wonderful little brothers, so that was good. And I managed to go 'yum cha' with BH, so got to do lots of catching up with him, so that too was good.. (Gosh, I really miss his company.. his wisdom, thoughtfulness and of course, sarcasm!) And I got to go to the temple in the morning and do some dana and listen to a Dhamma talk, so that was good.. (Yes, it's been a crazy and busy New Year's Eve indeed!!)
Anyway, the most important thing about New Year's is of course, everyone's New Year Resolution! To be quite honest, I haven't really put that much thought into it and usually, I don't really bother to come up with one. (Mainly because I never fulfil my resolution anyway so I've stopped trying! ;) ) But this year, I've decided that I shall.
As you know, my parents were up visiting me for my graduation and stayed with me for a week. They came about 2 months before that as well, as my dad was on some conference trip and mum decided to come. On both trips, I was constantly reminded by them of how much I've changed and not in a good way really. My mum kept saying that I wasn't a nice girl anymore and I don't see how that is, considering how I was never nice to begin with. They also said that having lived alone for so long, I'm now a very self-centred person with a small heart and most important of all, that I've become a very bitter person.
Of course, my parents didn't say this in a vindictive or ill-mannered way at all. They meant me well and was only trying to serve to remind me that I should try practising a more Buddhist way of life - with lots of loving-kindness, compassion, generosity and of course, wisdom (to say the least!). I was initially quite pissed off with them for being so, well, parent-like, but when I went home, I guess going to the temple and being around my family again, I'm reminded of how much I've strayed.
I guess it's quite easy to get sidetracked, especially when you're far away from home. My biggest problem was that I needed constant reminders and guidance to live the life I ideally want to lead and there are so little around me. I admit that I'm not a saint and that as much as I try, not a lot of good comes from within me, innately. I'm good at keeping my sila i.e. my precepts i.e. good discipline but that's it really. I'm not like WS who innately is such a good person that he doesn't need any guidance to be good.
So, (as you can probably guess) my 2006 New Year's Resolution is going to be this: I'm going to try my best to practice my religion on a daily basis. I'm going to try to be a better person as it will not only benefit the people around me, it'll directly help me.
(Of course there's going to be a little loophole in this 'clause' of my life - I might not be able to maintain this all the time. I did say I wasn't a saint right? So I'll choose when I want to practice being a better person! haha... Doesn't sound like much of a resolution? Oh trust me, it is.. If you know me, I don't normally intentionally try to be good!)
(Oh, and by the way, in case you're wondering, I'm actually at home now.. safe and warm, far away from the bitter cold and north wind. It's nice to actually live life without having to worry about money or financial issues on a day-to-day basis. Oh, how I've missed home! :) )
posted by Jean at 9:15 AM
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