Just a quickie

Just a quick update...

I'm just in the midst of my exams, which probably explains why I feel so darn crappy for the past few days.. (when I first started studying!) I just feel absolutely awful, and lousy, and crabby, and moody, and arrggghhh.. I really really hate the exam period.. can't believe I've got another full year of studying and taking exams ahead of me, plus a lifetime more after that.. when will it end???

What sucks for me is that, even though I'm finally motivated to study, I still can't sit down for more than 10 minutes reading.. More importantly, I honestly don't think anything's going into my puny little brain. If it is, it sure is leaking back out straight away cos' I sure as hell know almost nothing about the subjects I'm reading.. it's really getting to bug me, especially since I know that I'm not going to do well for my exams, and there's nothing I can do about it. Sighh.. Remember those days in school when we could get away with barely skimming the books? I miss that so much..

Sighh.. I really really hope I don't fail, really couldn't be arsed to take these exams again... Gosh..

On a lighter note, I'm looking forward to the end of all this misery, as I'm flying home next weekend! Getting to see my lovely little brothers whom I miss so much!! Ahh.. but my happiness is short-lived, as I will be whisked off to the Orient for a 'holiday' trip with my parents. Incidentally, my dad's decided to make a stopover in Hong Kong on the way home so at least there's one thing I'm happy about.. Been trying to get myself psyched to go to Beijing and Shanghai but it doesn't seem to be happening.. (WS said it was a total waste of time/money cos' I won't know how to appreciate the culture in China anyway! I only can appreciate European culture.. he sure knows me well, alright!)

Ah well.. I love exploring new places so this is just gonna be one more of my little travelling adventures.. at least I won't have to worry about cash since daddy and mummy are footing the bill.. woohoo! Plus, I heard the shopping is Shanghai is F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!! So double woohoo! Oh, for those of u who have been reading my past posts, I'm not going to Japan anymore.. no, nothing to do with my folks, it's just that something happened with my friend (who invited me) so I've been disinvited this summer. So sad.. She promised that I could go another time though, so at least there's that..

Ok, hmm.. I'm sure there was more that I wanted to write, but forgot about it now.. oh well.. musn't have been very important then.. So the next time I write, it'll probably be from home or sth, so don't miss me ok? Heehee..

(P/S: Thanks to all for your concern.. I really appreciate it! Again, didn't realise I had quite a few silent readers out there.. please, feel free to comment on my blog for once! hehe..)

Ex-lovers

An old flame of mine has just reappeared in my life...I couldn't be happier, even though the timing isn't really great.. (I've got my exams in 2 weeks and have barely started studying.) In fact, it's because of him that I didn't get any work done at all these 2 days, as I was busy fantasising/thinking about him.. Sighh.. Nevertheless, I'm overjoyed and filled with such incredible emotion that he's back, and hope that he'll stay in my life for a long long time..

Who'd you think it was?? :P Yes, this is my old flame: Takeshi Kaneshiro!

If he ever looks at me like that, I'll marry him, I swear!!!

I honestly think he's the most beautiful person alive.. He's gorgeous! Look at those intense eyes, those beautiful eyebrows, that intoxicating smile, that beautifully, chiselled, defined jawline... Sighh.. There's only one word to describe him with justice: he's perfect.

Sighh.. I can go on and on, but perhaps should stop here. I'm going to float away to dreamland tonight (again) and meet him there...

A volcano is about to erupt...

It's amazing how long your parents' invisible arm can extend to.. Correction. It's amazing how long MY parents' invisible arm can extend. I am literally, 10,000km away from them. Literally, on the other side of the world from them. And still, I find it absolutely amazing that they still find the way to pin me under their fingers.

You can imagine my frustration. I'm 24 years old for crying out loud! If I married and had a kid at 16, he/she'd be 8 years old now!!! And still, I'm treated like a bloody 8-year old. My mum got friggin' married when she was 24 and there sure as hell wasn't anyone who tried to control her! These people seriously need to cut their apron strings!!! Funny thing is, my sister, who's at home living with them, and who's 5 whole years younger than me, doesn't have this problem because they seem to have no problems whatsoever letting her roam free and enjoying her freedom. This is ridiculous!!!

For those of you who have had the privilege of knowing me since I was a kid ( hehe.. ;) ), I guess you know what I'm talking about. Ever since I was little, everyone knows that my parents are the most controlling parents in the whole wide world. Let me paint the picture: at 12, everyone was allowed to hang out at Subang Parade on our friends' birthday, unsupervised. But me? No way.. I could only go if there was to be a parent there. So as you can imagine, I either didn't get to go, or had to drag my aunty or mum with me. (Bet some of my friends were calling me LOSER behind my back.. don't blame them!) Up to 15, I was only allowed to go out with my friends to Subang Parade or wherever we went, during the daytime, on special occasions. This meant birthdays, after exam celebrations and err, think that was it. I still had to ask permission to go out up til I was 17, and it was only after 17 when I went to college that I could move in and out of the house freely.

Well, not even properly freely. I was not allowed to go out at night for a long long long long long time. I finally was when I turned 19 plus (or was it 20?) but then I had a strict curfew of 12am. Mind you, this time, I wasn't really living full-time at home, I was away at college. And only on the last trip back home last Christmas, was I allowed the luxury of coming back a little later at night, without them constantly calling and checking up on me every 5 minutes as they have always done. And that was only cos' I pointed out to my mum that my curfew hadn't changed and now had became the same as my sister's!!! Oh, do you know, I have NEVER been clubbing in Malaysia simply cos' my parents won't let me stay out so late. Can you imagine that???

Anyway, that's just a quick recap of my teenage (and actually, recent) life with my parents. I always always complained about it, but knew that it was fairly pointless trying to fight it, so I usually tried bargaining and then just accepting the way things were. (Having said that, my sis was smarter, she rebelled so she got away with so much more! and one of my close friends, MY, had the same problem when she was like 13-14, but she rebelled SO hard that eventually, her parents gave in.)

But seriously, things are just getting utterly ludicrous. Even now. Everytime I go home for a holiday, my parents give me a seriously seriously hard time when I want to go out and spend time with my friends. My mum always says that friends aren't as important as family, so shouldn't waste time with them. I hate it when she says that.. who the heck gives you the right to judge how I spend my free time??? Ask my friends back home, I've got to find major ways to organise seeing them all at once or something like that, simply cos' it's so goddamn difficult for me to get out of the house in the first place. Oh wait, and if I stay out too long for say, lunch or dinner, rest assured, I'll get 2 'lovely' things from home: 1) a berating phone call demanding when I'll be home; 2) a big fight when I do reach home about setting my priorities right. You can ask WS and my sis even, every single time I go home, same issues. Over and over again.. Sometimes I wonder why I look forward to going home in the first place.

Sorry, have been ranting for awhile. What's my point? Well, I've got a few. Firstly, I was organizing my elective next year to New York cos' I've always wanted to go there and experience life in the USA. Everything was dandy-randy, and my dad even volunteered to help me. But, I got a big wham from my mum that day. She said, point blank, that I wasn't allowed to go. Apparently, her good friend who always travels there to work, says that New York is completely unsafe for 1 girl to go. Plus since I don't have any family, I'll be truly alone. This coupled with the 'horror' stories she's heard about the Big Apple, just sealed my court sentence: I'm disallowed to go to New York. This bloody sucks.. so now I have to go find some lame-ass place to go do it, cos' after New York, nowhere is going to be nearly as exciting!

I just came back from Spain, as you probably know.. Oh my god, you wouldn't believe the crap my dad gave me about the whole trip but I went anyway cos' they couldn't find a legitimate reason not to allow me to go. Goody goo! But now, I'm in the midst of organizing my summer holiday to Tokyo, cos' a kind friend invited me to stay with her in her house and offered to bring me around. So no problems with accommodation, tour guide and language - talk about a sweet deal! Initially my parents gave the ok, but have ever since been dilly-dallying and causing me major problems with my arrangements. I haven't booked
my ticket yet cos' they keep trying to dissuade me from going. I will not cave!!!

Not to be bitchy or ungrateful, but they are sometimes very selfish. The reason they're being such a pain about this, is because my dad had organized for my mum and me to follow him to Beijing and Shanghai for the first 2 weeks of my summer hols, to spend time blah blah. He didn't even ask me if I wanted to go, didn't even consider that I actually want to spend some time at home home, with my aunt and my siblings (especially my little brothers).. No, all that mattered was that I was going with them and since they're my parents, that's all I'm going to need in the world. I don't need other family, don't need friends, don't need a goddamn thing!!!!!

Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!

My new toy!!!

Look at my latest toy.. isn't she a beauty???!!! :D

Ok, so I don't know how to do the whole tabloid-magazine-deleting-important-info thing, guess this'll have to do! :)

Even the backside looks good! Haha.. cute right?

Ok, this pic isn't that good, but I forgot my car keys and was lazy to run in to get it just for a photo.. :P

Dashboard.. d'oh!

Yeah, I finally got a car!!! Well, not 'I' got it, but you know what I mean.. Even though it's second-hand, it actually looks quite new, so it's ok. (For those of u not familiar to the world of cars, this is a Nissan Micra 1.4 SE) Plus, it's really great fun! For a small little car, it's got lots of fun features like a keyless-entry system, CD player, control for the CD player and the radio on the steering wheel itself, 6 speakers, the engine's quite good too: 1.4 16 valve.. overall, I'm quite happy with my new toy!

Very coincidentally, WS just bought a new car too, even though he wasn't really planning to until a little later.. And not to be completely cheesy/corny, I think there's some element of fate involved. Haha, know why? Cos' both on both our registration plates, the numbers are the same, which means both cars were registered at the same time (quite a big feat for used cars!) and the first letter are both same!! (meaning they were both originally registered in the same place!) Haha.. yes, yes, lame, I know.. but I'm too excited about my car actually.. so everything is handy dandy in this world now!!!! :)

P/S: By the way, summertime is pretty much here.. and as much as everyone's raving about how wonderful the weather is and how the sun's shining so brightly, I hate it!!! It's too hot! And this is just the beginning.. *sob sob*

P/P/S: A big shoutout to my good friend/housemate, DC - thanks so much for coming along with me to collect my baby, and of course, for navigating our way back home! Also, a big thank you to S and NQ for coming with me the first-time round to test-drive/check the car. Really appreciate it!