Judgement day

Judgement is defined by the dictionary as the act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation or an assertion of something believed. (Actually, the dictionary gave quite a few definitions, I just chose the ones most appropriate in this context.)

I for one, am an incredibly judgemental person. In fact, I believe that everyone is judgemental, just that at the end of the day, it's the degree of which they are that differs from person to person. So I would say, in the population, I'd be on the 80th percentile and above. (Huh???) Don't blame me, blame the hours and hours spent with my girlfriends during our high school days passing judgement on any living thing that crossed our paths. (Yes, we judged frogs too..) Anyway, as I was saying, somehow or rather, I've evolved into an immensely judgemental person and unlike some, I actually admit it.

Ok, so why am I bringing this up? Of late, I am becoming increasingly aware of the err, how shall I put this nicely, sheer stupidity of some of my friends around me.. To be fair, as judgemental a person as I am, I tend to reserve most of it for my not-so-close friends, acquaintances and of course, total strangers. When it comes to friends, especially my girl friends, I adopt a kind-of protective attitude and honestly don't tend to judge nor blame them for their mistakes. (After all, no one's perfect, not even I! Muahahaha..)

I digress. As much as I love my girl friends and try my best to be supportive and helpful and just a good friend really, I can no longer adopt a 'see no evil, hear no evil' attitude. I have heard so many things from so many people around me about the absolutely sitoopid things that they do and it's time for me to say something.

Ok, perhaps I do sound a little harsh, and perhaps you can say, this is all my own opinion, but do let me explain before YOU jump to conclusions and start passing judgement. (hehe!)

My biggest issue with my girlfriends have always been a matter of choosing boyfriends. I personally think that more often than not, they make the absolute wrong decision of choosing complete scumbags (sometimes, even choosing them over good dudes!) to spend their day with and 'pat toh'. Majority of these relationships have bitten the dust and it takes the mightiest of restraints to stop myself from teling them "I told you so!".

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm any kind of male-expert and that I am far more superior to them in choosing men. That's not what I'm saying and certainly not what I'm trying to get across. My biggest concern is this: most of these girls are amazing, incredible girls. They're smart, sexy, beautiful, talented, kind-hearted and overall, absolutely fabulous girls! They don't deserve to date scum and certainly do not deserve to be treated any less than like Goddesses. They're my good friends and I want the best for them. Therefore, they do not deserve anyone that isn't great, and most of all, do not deserve anyone who doesn't fully appreciate them for who they are. Ok, so men like that are hard to find, but they're certainly not extinct. So why oh why, do they always end up choosing assholes??!!! (Incidentally, WS once said that I don't think anyone is good enough for my girlfriends but that's not really the point, is it?)

(Ooh, I also have something totally against guys who are so irresponsible and seem (operative word here: seem) to go towards the other extreme and end up splurging their parents' hard-earned money (and not their own hard-earned money) on their girlfriends' trivial gifts.. Come on girls, you have more self-respect than that!!! It's the twenty-first century for crying out loud, don't disgrace the rest of us or we'll end up being the antithesis of 'Equality for Women' and revert back to the dark ages where men rule and girls (err, drool?) don't again! I digress, again. That's a story for another day!)

As a good friend, I feel that it's my duty to look out for them and express my opinion because that's certainly what I would want and expect from them. After all, that's what friends are for. Unfortunately, my good intention isn't always appreciated (yes, I've tried oh-so-many times to tell them and what happens in the end? I become a b**ch and they stop talking/telling me stuff!) so instead of trying to do what I can to help these girls, I have to hold my silence and just hope that they don't get too hurt. All I can do is to make sure that I'm there for them when that time does inevitably, come.

Ok, there is a major flaw in my argument, as you would point out. How do I know that these guys are dirtbags? It's only a matter of judgement and without properly knowing them, how can I be sure that these guys aren't right for my girls? Well, that's where the part where I admit I'm tremendously judmental comes in.

Having said that, there's one thing I know for sure. There are true slimeballs out there. And I mean real slimeballs. Now, over the past few years, I have realised that a lot of my friends are in sexually active relationships. Although this came as an initial shock (I attribute that to my conservative upbringing..haha!), we're all adults now and capable of making our own decisions. (I'm going into my mid-twenties soon!! Gasp!!! Oops, digressing and in this case, obssessing..)

However, the enraging and definitely, saddening thing is the number of people out theree who are practising unprotected sex. Not just random people, my friends!!! The reasons? Allow me to quote, "It doesn't feel the same for the guy!" being the most popular argument and the equally famous response to that, "So, I don't want him to do anything he's not comfortable with!". Whatever the reasons, these girls should know better.. This is, to me, completely unacceptable, at this age, in this day and age. Absolutely unacceptable!!!

I'm currently doing my Obstetrics and Gynaecology attachment and that includes Genitourinary Medicine which basically looks at diseases of the external genitalia i.e. dicks and pussies. Almost all of these diseases are Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) and it's really really sad (and disgusting) to know what could happen to you and the implications of these diseases to your life.

An even bigger problem are those ding-dong friends of mine who are not only having unprotected sex, but also happily and ignorantly are not on any form of contraception. I am appalled. Horrified. Shocked. Dumbfounded. Absolutely taken aback by their actions. What is this world becoming of? These are smart, modern and most of all, E-D-U-C-A-T-E-D women who are all aware of the risks of pregnancy and STDs. Again, you girls have more dignity than that!! You deserve so much more respect than that!!

Anyway, this is my penning for the week. I'm sure I would have offended some people along the way, but hey, the harsh truth is never nice to the ear, or in this case, eyes. This is really a case of 'Siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas' - and oldage Malay saying. Translated, it literally means, 'Who eats the chilli will taste it spiceness' so hopefully, that clears it up. I've been meaning to voice out for such a long time now, it's good to finally get it out.. Now all I need to do is find a way to tell them..